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<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\nI didn\u2019t expect us to go anywhere after the service, but Rose \u2013 the cousin who had seen him most often \u2013 said he had left some money for everyone to have a drink, so she had reserved a couple of tables and snacks at a pub up the road. Most of the mourners went along, like me appreciating the chance to chat with people we probably wouldn\u2019t see until the next funeral. I went to the bar with my sister Mel, where we talked for a while with the couple who lived next door to Will, then a man who had known him from school, recently friended on Facebook and knew of his death from Rose posting on the account. I noticed others chatting in pairs or small groups, but one man who seemed on the fringe of it all the time, not really getting into conversation. I thought someone should make a friendly approach, so I crossed the room and extended my hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m Hugh, Will\u2019s cousin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He shook my hand. He was older and taller than me, wearing a smart black suit and dark blue tie, and spoke in received pronounciation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMalcolm. I was a colleague of Will\u2019s, quite a few years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhere? He never spoke much about work but seemed to move around.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, that\u2019s good to know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It seemed an odd response, and he quickly changed the subject.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou have my sympathies. He talked about you occasionally. I believe you have a sister as well.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s right. She\u2019s here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I looked around. Mel was still at the bar. I was surprised that Will had talked about either of us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI should think you were close to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaybe when we were kids \u2013 our dads were brothers \u2013 but I saw him less often as we got older, maybe two or three times a year. We had different interests, moved in different circles.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBut you got on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHe was amiable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He asked if I had seen Will recently, whether I knew much of his interests, his work, relationships. I told him the truth but with some respect for Will, used the terms \u2018laid back\u2019 rather than \u2018apathetic\u2019, \u2018private\u2019 rather than \u2018secretive\u2019, \u2018introvert\u2019 rather than \u2018waster\u2019. Malcolm\u2019s expression suggested he recognised my descriptions, then he glanced to my side and I realised the Mel had joined us. I did the introductions. He smiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHugh was just sharing his memories of Will,\u201d he said. \u201cI understand that he was very low key in his life. Not someone to stand out from the crowd.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s if he could be bothered getting into a crowd,\u201d Mel said. \u201cHe usually gave the impression he was happy to sit at home most of the time; and he never said much about the jobs he had.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It prompted me to ask a question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSorry, but where was it he worked with you? I remember he spent a while doing some admin for his local council, then he said something about a bank, then an insurance company.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNothing about the Civil Service?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mel and I looked at each other and shook our heads.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhich department?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPart of the Home Office.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhere exactly? I worked there for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt was in one of the teams where they keep a low profile.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat sounds mysterious.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It made me smile. I couldn\u2019t think of Will doing anything that had to be kept secret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019ll be honest,\u201d I said. \u201cWill wasn\u2019t the type to talk about work, but I always thought it was because he didn\u2019t take it that seriously.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Malcolm responded with a faint smile. Mel asked a question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSo what did he do exactly?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Malcolm waited a moment, as if considering his next words, then spoke quietly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI can\u2019t say much, only that he served his country well.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPardon.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDiscreet work, the type that can\u2019t be made public.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mel and I shared a disbelieving glance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou mean he was some kind of \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s better not to say it out loud. But it\u2019s something of which his family can be proud.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWithout really knowing what it was?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI\u2019m afraid I couldn\u2019t say more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wanted to say something \u2013 Spy \u2013 Spook <\/em>\u2013 but could see from Malcolm\u2019s expression that I wouldn\u2019t get any more. There were a few seconds of awkward silence, then from behind us a \u201cHello!\u201d and Rose appeared. We hesitated, then fumbled an introduction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEr, Rose, another cousin. This is Malcolm, he\u2019s an ex-colleague of Will\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNice to meet you.\u201d He shook Rose\u2019s hand. \u201cSorry if this seems rude, but I can\u2019t stay any longer. I have to be somewhere in an hour. And please, what we\u2019ve just spoken about, can you be careful about who your share it with. I\u2019m sure you understand why.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then he shook hands with me and Mel and moved quickly towards the exit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat was odd,\u201d Rose said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou bet it was.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI have a feeling I\u2019ve seen him before. Can\u2019t think where.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t think it\u2019s likely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n We shuffled uneasily. I could tell Mel was thinking the same as me, whether we should tell Rose what we had just heard, but we were interrupted by her husband Paul. He had received a text from a neighbour who had accepted a package for them but was going away overnight. Suddenly they were in a hurry to leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSorry,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019ll have to get away. Let\u2019s get together soon, have a curry or pizza.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n We agreed, waved her goodbye and stood together in a state of mild shock. We thought about telling someone else what he had learned about Will, but weren\u2019t sure who it would be right to tell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m feeling bad,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo you remember a few years ago, when Will\u2019s mum died. He said he would tell us when he was going to scatter her ashes, but just did it in the local park without letting us know. I got annoyed at him and said he was a waster, that he never did anything worthwhile in his life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou mentioned it to me. I thought you both got over it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe did, but now I\u2019m thinking I wasn\u2019t fair to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n We stayed in each other\u2019s company for a while, watching as other mourners drifted away, and kept the secret to ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We got together again three weeks later. Mel picked out a Turkish restaurant, we both arrived early and assured each other over what we had agreed earlier \u2013 that Rose should know what we had been told about Will. As it had sunk in we felt pleased to have been wrong about him and reckoned that, despite Malcolm asking for discretion, she was one person who should have a share of our vague, surprised pride. She was maybe the one person who would really care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When she and Paul arrived we did the kisses and handshakes, compared our journeys, got some drinks and looked over the menu. Once we had ordered our meals Mel and I shared a glance, the sign we were ready to tell them the news, but Rose opened her handbag and said she had something to show to us. She placed a folded leaflet on the table face upwards to show a drawing of three drunken tramps below a title, When Godot Turned Up,<\/em> and above a playwright\u2019s name and Slapdown Theatre. <\/em>I thought it was going to be a recommendation, but Rose unfolded the leaflet and turned it towards us to show a page of blurb to the left and three photos, matching cast biographies, to the right. She placed a finger beside one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIs that the bloke from the funeral?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I couldn\u2019t tell. She moved the leaflet closer so Mel and I could dip our heads to look more closely. It was him, Malcolm, except that his name was Andrew Muldrew and he had played Godot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhere did you get this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou know I\u2019ve been in to clear Will\u2019s flat. It was in one of the drawers with a bunch of old flyers and ticket stubs. He didn\u2019t do cultural stuff often, but when he did he kept a memento.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd he saw this play?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLooks like it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I looked at Mel. Our faces twisted. We dipped our heads again to peer at the photo. Then I quickly read the bio and saw that Andrew Muldrew hadn\u2019t exactly had a glittering career. There had been a few plays in provincial theatres, unnamed characters in a couple of very old TV dramas, and theatre workshops with schoolkids. Rose spoke again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd look at the bottom of the page.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was some scrawl in biro, Denham Dramatic Agency <\/em>and a phone number.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHe must have remembered the actor, done some Googling and found out how to get hold of him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rose hesitated, careful to say what she was thinking, but went ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBecause he knew he was going to die, and he wanted to leave something for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The look on her face was somewhere between disbelief and amusement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThere was some time between when he knew the worst and when he had to go into hospital, then he told me that he had sorted out his affairs with a lawyer and asked me to let her know when he had passed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo how would this guy Malcolm. No, Andrew whatever, know about the funeral?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBecause the lawyer asked me when and where the funeral was taking place.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had to stop and think. Mel and I stared at each other for a few seconds and the pieces fell into place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo he had found this actor and paid him to come to his funeral to pretend he was someone else, then tell us a story, because \u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBecause he wanted to stitch you up, from beyond the grave.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rose and Paul were pressing their fists on their foreheads and trying to stifle the laughs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI think you pissed him off. He told me there was a time when you called him a waster, and that he always had the impression you didn\u2019t think much of him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I couldn\u2019t deny that. I glanced at Mel. Now she was spreading a hand over her mouth and shaking. After a moment she turned to me and said: \u201cI didn\u2019t know. Honestly.\u201d Then she laughed again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo he didn\u2019t do some shady job in national security.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNever. Actually, you were probably right about him overall, he was a bit of waster.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut he made the effort to make me think that he was some kind of spy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Heads nodded. There were giggles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou have to admit, that took a bit of setting up, especially when he didn\u2019t have long to live.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I let it sink in. What I had been feeling for the past three weeks \u2013 a quiet pride for reasons I still struggled to accept \u2013 disintegrated immediately. But something smaller and more realistic took hold, an admiration that Will could make the effort to make a fool of me as one of the last acts of his life. The bugger had something in him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was a round of chuckling, punctuated with remarks that it was all a bit much to believe but we all had to believe it. Then I raised my glass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCan I propose a toast to Will. Turns out he was a slippery, conniving git, and I\u2019m glad he was my cousin.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"