<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Aidan paused in front of the house, feeling a twinge in his stomach, certain that he should go ahead but wary of what it might involve. He moved forward into the driveway, enough to see beyond the car through the lounge window to where a male figure sat on a sofa. It prompted another pause, then he realised he didn\u2019t want to be seen hesitating and went to the door, reminding himself that the couple inside were his parents. He rang the bell, heard footsteps and muffled voices, and guessed they wanted to greet him together. Then they were in front of him, both smiling, the woman quick to lean in and press her cheek to his lips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOh Paul! It\u2019s so nice that you\u2019re here at last.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paul.<\/em> It was still strange to hear somebody use it as his name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, glad I\u2019m here at last.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The man placed a hand on his shoulder and ushered him inside. Eleanor and Robert.<\/em> He reminded himself that it would be better not to use their Christian names, but he wasn\u2019t ready to call them Mum and Dad. He handed Eleanor the bouquet of flowers, Robert the bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou didn\u2019t need to!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell I\u2019m your guest.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYour our son.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He knew. He was still getting used to the fact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They sat in the lounge \u2013 brown leather and dark wood furniture, a big TV, a handful of framed photographs and on the wall two prints of people in formal clothes dancing on a beach \u2013 and Robert offered him a beer or glass of wine. As usual he said he would prefer a soft drink then wine with the meal. Eleanor went to get a lemonade and he noticed the magazine rack beside the sofa. It included a copy of that newspaper, the one that often made him cringe. He tried to ignore it: maybe they were the type who read it for the entertainment features and sport and ignored all the politics. Robert asked if his journey had been easy \u2013 OK, everything ran on time \u2013 then whether he used public transport because he couldn\u2019t drive, or afford to buy a car, or if he had \u201csome issue\u201d about car ownership. Aidan forced a smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI haven\u2019t had a need of one so far. There might be a time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Robert didn\u2019t respond, his expression neutral. Eleanor returned with the lemonade, telling him she had bought it in Waitrose, and the small talk resumed. There were questions about his job, his flat \u2013 both eighty miles away \u2013 his time at university, but nothing yet about about Rosie. After a while Aidan asked a question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat about Suzanne? Couldn\u2019t she make it today?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He noticed the glance between them. Eleanor replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe decided it might be better not to ask her along today. This is an emotional meeting for us, and she might complicate things.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019ll find out, in time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n So he wasn\u2019t going to meet his sister today. He didn\u2019t know whether to feel disappointed or relieved. Then Eleanor said it was time to serve lunch and Robert led him to the dining room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There were three courses: a slice of smoked salmon with salad garnish; roast shoulder of lamb and vegetables; and a sherry trifle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe thought we\u2019d give you something traditional,\u201d Eleanor said. \u201cWe like foreign food, but this says something about us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Aidan didn\u2019t ask what exactly it said, but he enjoyed the food, and for the first two courses found the conversation innocuous. They wanted to know what led to his choices at university, what prompted him to find a job as an environmental business analyst, and what were his prospects for earning a lot of money? Then they asked about his social life, if he liked any particular kind of music, whether he had a regular girlfriend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThere was a girl in the second and third years at uni,\u201d he replied. \u201cBut after graduating we went to different cities to work and drifted apart. It was pretty amicable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow long ago was that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTwo years.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo-one else since?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA few brief things. None of them got beyond the third or fourth date. I guess I\u2019m not ready yet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019ll be ready when the right on comes along.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat about you? How long have you been together?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n They took several minutes telling him about their courtship and thirty-three years married, with details about where they had lived, their various jobs and the childhood of his older sister. To him it sounded a little dull, but he thought to himself it was what many people wanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt sounds like you\u2019ve been very happy together,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, yes, but there was a lot of pain involved, because of that woman.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was hard to ignore the anger in Eleanor\u2019s voice. Robert touched her hand. Eleanor stifled a snarl. Aidan suddenly felt anxious. They were talking about the woman he had grown up believing was his mother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s OK. We know you didn\u2019t mean anything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eleanor\u2019s expression softened a little, but Aidan sensed it was something that wouldn\u2019t fully subside. He was glad that Eleanor stood to get the dessert, and while she was in the kitchen he kept Robert talking about the view of the garden. As they ate the trifle he tried to keep the conversation innocuous by asking about where they liked to go on holiday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe\u2019ve always liked the Med \u2013 Spain, Italy, Greece \u2013 but we\u2019re wondering if it\u2019s time for a change.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOther places to see?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThere is that, but we got angry with what we had to put up with at Malaga this year. All that nonsense with the new EU entry rules at the airport.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, I read that created problems in some places.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat really annoyed us is that it\u2019s all done out of spite.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSorry?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThey just want to make things difficult for us, because we\u2019ve shown we can get on without them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Aidan tried not to sigh. He had been too young to vote in the Brexit referendum, had grown up to wish it had gone a different way, and knew it was still a very touchy subject with a lot of people. He didn\u2019t want an argument, but he didn\u2019t want to pretend he agreed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI suppose there are several reasons for the new rules.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, several ways they can make us suffer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He allowed them to rant for a couple of minutes, nodded his head a couple of times, then said he needed to use the bathroom. When he came back he was glad that they didn\u2019t raise the subject again. Eleanor had brought a cafetiere with a tray of white cups and saucers, a small jug of milk and After Eight mints. He said he liked his coffee white and it was only on the first sip that he realised the jug actually contained cream. Rosie had told him that was how in the past some people had liked to drink coffee on special occasions, but now you didn\u2019t see it much. Thinking of her made him want to change the subject.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHave you lived here for a long time?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEighteen years,\u201d Robert said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe found it too painful to stay in the old house, the old neighbourhood,\u201d Eleanor added.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou must like it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe have, although there are some changes that are making us uncomfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat are they?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSome of the people moving in around here. I mean, right next door there\u2019s one family, from Pakistan.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe husband and wife were both born here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI know, and we\u2019ve got on with them since they moved in. Don\u2019t have much to do with them but we\u2019ve got on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut now another family has moved in, a few houses along the street. We feel less sure about them. We\u2019ve heard them speak, and they sound English, but we\u2019ve seen the man leaving the house in one of those round caps that the Muslims wear.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLike he\u2019s going to a mosque?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIsn\u2019t that what a lot of Muslims do?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t think the couple next door ever go \u2013 well maybe for weddings and funerals \u2013 and we can feel comfortable with that. But knowing that a man up the road goes to one every day. You never now what they\u2019re talking about in those places, or what they\u2019re being taught.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Aidan didn\u2019t reply, despite an uncomfortable moment in which they seemed to be waiting for him to do so. Then Robert took it further.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s part of the reason our public services are in a mess, All this stuff about diversity and inclusion, it\u2019s leading to them employing people to keep the woke crowd happy, rather than choosing those who can do the job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSome of them can\u2019t even speak decent English,\u201d Eleanor added. \u201cLast month I called the local council to complain about bins that had been emptied over the path in the park up the road. The young man on the phone was African and I had to keep repeating myself, and barely understood what he was saying to me. I still don\u2019t know if he made a legible note of it all.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s farcical,\u201d Robert said. \u201cBut thankfully the backlash is coming. We can see a big change soon, when the right people get to run the country.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Aidan guessed who the right people\u2019 were, exactly the types he preferred to avoid, and wondered how he avoid an argument.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI played football at uni with a couple of lads from African families,\u201d he said. \u201cThey were good guys, always mixed in well.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was a moment when they both stared at him silently, then Robert spoke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI suppose a few of them know how to integrate.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Aidan took an After Eight from the box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI do like these. Always felt they were something for special occasions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n They seemed to take the hint and dropped the subject. There was talk about going for a walk, but raindrops began to hit the window pane and they decided to move back to the lounge. Robert asked if Aidan would like some more wine, or a brandy, but he told them he didn\u2019t like to drink too much during the day. Then Eleanor went to the kitchen and returned with another bottle and three glasses, told him he could change his mind if he wished and poured for herself and Robert. For nearly an hour the conversation was bland and harmless, covering more about Aidan\u2019s time at university, his career ambitions and where he liked to go on holiday. They both had another glass of wine and Eleanor began to slur her words. Then Aidan noticed a framed photo in the corner, slightly younger versions of the two of them with a girl in her early teens. He pointed towards it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIs that Suzanne?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n They glanced at each other before Robert spoke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes. When she was younger. Before \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBefore?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n An awkward paused followed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBefore she made some questionable choices; for her lifestyle.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat were they?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He suspected they involved drugs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cChoices of friends, partners.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was another brief silence, then Eleanor blurted it out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWomen. We thought it was a phase, especially when she broke up with the first one, but then there was another, and she keeps insisting that\u2019s the way she is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd she has to advertise it,\u201d Robert added. \u201cShort back and sides haircut, men\u2019s waistcoats, big boots. It has to be a statement.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s enough that she comes around here like that, so all the neighbours can see, but a few weeks ago she turned up at the christening for her cousin\u2019s little boy dressed like she was going to one of those clubs. She just won\u2019t make the effort to moderate her choices. She doesn\u2019t care how we feel about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Aidan thought that he would like to meet her, but reckoned it was better not to say so. Instead he made a comment that he knew was nonsense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell you never know. Maybe in the future she might change.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n They didn\u2019t reply, but he noticed a glance between them that suggested it\u2019s what they hoped. Then he asked Robert about his job, and listened as he spoke for several minutes about the years he had spent in insurance, first as a claims handler, then a manager, then an investigator. It meant little to Aidan but he was relieved that it eased the atmosphere in the room. It went on for at least fifteen minutes until he realised that Eleanor hadn\u2019t spoken, then that she was staring at him with a broad, inebriated smile. At first he tried to ignore it, but she saw that he had noticed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMy little boy,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Robert smiled and touched her hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou can\u2019t believe how much we\u2019ve missed you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He could. He had sat through the court case, knew all the circumstances of how Rosie had taken him as a one-year-old. She had seen him briefly left outside a park caf\u00e9, took him to her small flat, then two weeks later moved to a town more than a hundred miles away, giving him a new name and telling everyone he was her own. A few months later she obtained a birth certificate, and somehow she had got away with it all for over twenty years. He was still trying to come to terms with knowing that his happy childhood had been based on a terrible crime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd we still can\u2019t believe our luck,\u201d Eleanor went on. \u201cThat you grew up looking so much like my dad, and then you appearing on that TV show about conservation work. We just saw it immediately, the resemblance, and it gave us something to take to a private detective. What it\u2019s led to has just made us so happy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She went to him and gave him a tight hug. He placed his arms around her waist and gave her a squeeze, but not as strong. He could understand her joy, but wasn\u2019t ready to share it. Then he thought of Rosie in prison, where she was going to stay for several years. He was relieved when Eleanor stood and moved back to the sofa. Robert spoke next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe\u2019ve lost all those years we should have had with you, but we\u2019ve got you back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOur boy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd we have the satisfaction of knowing that woman is where belongs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s not long enough.\u201d Now there was an explosion of bitterness in Eleanor\u2019s voice. \u201cI understand she could be out within four years.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt should be a lot longer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf I had my way it would be life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShe can stew in her guilt\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI hope she has an especially bad time in there. I don\u2019t care what was said about her mental state at the time, about the baby she lost and the ex-boyfriend who made her have an abortion. She deserves to suffer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Aidan didn\u2019t answer, kept a straight face, silently flashed through a series of memories: the excitement when Rosie first taught him to ride a bike; the times she cooked his spaghetti bolognaise as his favourite feed; the camping holidays; the way she danced with him in the living room as he got into electro. Then there was her little mantra for his life: be kind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He looked out the window, saw the rain had eased off, but didn\u2019t want to be too blatant in leaving at that point. Instead he made an excuse to go to the bathroom again, gave himself a couple of minutes to think of different subjects to talk about, then returned to the room and asked them about the framed prints on the wall. It led to a conversation about the artists they liked \u2013 Vettriano, Monet and Manet \u2013 and those they didn\u2019t which seemed to be most others. It kept everything innocuous for fifteen minutes, then Aidan took advantage of a pause to say he was very sorry, but it was time to go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe rain\u2019s eased off, and I have to get some work done this evening.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOn a Sunday!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSometimes it happens.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It wasn\u2019t true, but it was tactful. They spent another five minutes fussing, offered to drive him to the station, he replied that he could do with the walk, and when Eleanor moved in for a hug he could smell the alcohol on her breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis has made me so happy,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He acknowledged to himself that he could understand why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGetting you back, and knowing that woman\u2019s in prison.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He felt a moment of pain, stifled it broke away from her, then shook hands with Robert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGood to see you son. We\u2019ll come to you soon.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n They saw him to the door, and waved him off with voices loud enough for neighbours to hear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBye son!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He waved goodbye silently. Then he walked at a steady pace, quickening once he had turned a corner, and kept it brisk all the way to the station. It was only as he passed through the barrier to the platform that he allowed himself to relax, satisfied that they couldn\u2019t suddenly appear behind him. He sat on the platform bench, acknowledging how uncomfortable he felt, recoiling at details of the conversation, then thinking again of Rosie in a prison cell. Something in his head corrected the thought \u2013 his mother in a prison cell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When the train arrived he was glad that the carriage was almost empty and was able to find a seat with no-one else in sight. He took out his phone and held it in his hand without touching any of the controls until the train had almost reached the station where he would make a connection. Then he opened its contacts app, in which he had stored the numbers for Robert and Eleanor a couple of weeks before, when they began to plan his visit. He blocked and then deleted both of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n